Clouds

"Whenever the cloud lifted from above the Tent, the Israelites set out; wherever the could settled, they encamped. At the Lord's command the Israelites set out, and at his command they encamped. As long as the cloud stayed over the tabernacle, they remained in camp." Numbers 9:17-18

I wish it was this easy for me to clearly see what God wants me to do. Especially coming back from missions, there's a lot of unanswered questions that I still have in mind. Now that I have to start worrying about those things again, i remembered how annoying it is to deal with questions where both answers seem right. Now that i think about it, the questions are ridiculous and it's amazing how i can convince my mind to think that my problems are a much bigger deal that they really are. Questions such as praise team or missions for servant team, macbook or no macbook, cleaning the house or hanging out with friends.... really, i know, IRRELEVANT and definitely not anything life-changing. But because i know that any decision has a butterfly effect into the future, I have come to blow up every decision i have to make in my head. That's why, I wish I had a cloud over me and God telling me "yes" or "no" to whatever.

But i know this is only wishful thinking. Reading chapter 9 this morning, I've realized that it's time to make a decision based on faith and not think about every little detail in my head. No matter how many times God faithfully shows me that I have nothing to worry about, I still stumble and worry about it as if it was my own decision. But this time, I'm going to pray first, and then just decide.